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| Talking to persons who are at
risk for suicide about their suicidal feelings will not increase
the likelihood of them harming themselves. But, there
are some things that you can do or say that can help you to
relate to the person with which you are working or interacting.
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- Do
not avoid the topic of suicide (Reference
1).
The
reason being:
For suicidal persons, not talking about their thoughts denies
their feelings and forces them to cope with these emotions
alone without the help of the people and professionals around
them. People in crisis need to talk about their problems
and their feelings so that they do not feel rejected, ignored,
alone, or unheard.
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- Avoid
moralizing (Reference
1).
The
reason being:
It is not effective to tell a suicidal person that it is
wrong and against God's will to die by suicide or to remind
them of their obligations to family and society. The suicidal
person already feels tremendous guilt and moral arguments
do not help.
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- Focus
on listening, not convincing (Reference
1).
The
reason being:
Sometimes people in helping roles can feel hopeless and
useless. The natural response to these feeling is for the
helper to convince and urge the potentially suicidal person
to live. By listening the helper lets the person
at risk know that they are being heard and that someone
cares about what they say, feel, and do. Trying to
convince someone to live might help the helper to feel better,
not the person feeling conflict and pain.
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- Do
not challenge or dare a person to kill him or herself by
suicide (Reference
1).
The
reason being:
Although at times you may feel frustrated with someone who
feels hopeless and ignores your efforts, avoid challenges
like, “You might as well do it”. These comments are experienced
as hostile and mean, and can reinforce the at-risk person's
belief that nobody cares.
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Electronic,
print, and multimedia resources are provided to help you to
find additional authoritative information on How to relate
to a person who is at risk for suicide or having suicidal
thoughts. These resources are available from such national
organizations as The National Institute of Mental Health as
well as professional organizations, not-for-profit organizations,
and educational institutions. |
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Internet
San
Francisco Suicide Prevention (SFSP)
SFSP
is the oldest volunteer crisis line in the United States.
SFSP was founded in 1963 and currently offers both
crisis and general counseling services.
SFSP
provides information on “Pitfalls: What to Avoid” when interacting
with someone who may be at risk for suicide. The SFSP
Web page is available at the following Web address:
http://www.sfsuicide.org/html/pitfalls.html
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| How to relate pages were last
updated May 11, 2004 |
